Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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