and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
