What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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