i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i came on her dog
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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