It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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