so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
