The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
