i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize