Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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