Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
