and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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