whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
