I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
