your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
