i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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