Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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