My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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