I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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