What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
