Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
and you fell through a lawn chair
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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