yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You are a genius and a whore.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
