when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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