My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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