I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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