I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
