piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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