jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize