you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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