Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
