K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
