Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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