And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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