Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize