he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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