my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize