OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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