She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
