I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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