Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
