well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
