i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
