i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
