I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
