singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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