I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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