So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
