Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
