So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
