Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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