I CAN MOONWALK!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
