Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
