1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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