Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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