what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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