She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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