DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
