Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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