Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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