your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
