Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
