i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
