Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
