Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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