i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize