i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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