chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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