Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
