I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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