At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Boobs speak an international language.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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