I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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