Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Farmville is her only friend.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
