I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
