Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
