You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
