Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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