It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
