I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
