Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
